What did the man with no arms say to the jewish man? I have no arms.

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Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

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Did you hear about the man who discovered the secret to making women happy? Neither have I.

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

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why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

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yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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