how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did Alice cross the road? Because she wasn't funny. At all. So the people on the other side of the road asked her to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down -34

flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Guy: I have a penis growing out of my crotch. Girl: Hah, sucks to be you! Guy: Yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q. What do you call a white guy with a black dick? A. Gay

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's worse than knowing you have Hepititis C? Not knowing.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you kill a black man There is many ways

thumb_up thumb_down -36

why didn't the boy go to school because he died last night

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you call a red light A:soon to be green

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops