What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

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What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

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Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

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Thumbs up if you're reading this in 2015!

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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A guy walks into a bar and finds a genie. The genie says he'll grant him 3 wishes. He wished for a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. POOF! All 3 wishes were granted to him. The blonde drinks a shot a tequila, the brunette drinks a beer, and the redhead drinks a whiskey. They had a great time.

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An old jewish man, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm homosexual And so is my boyfriend Jeremy, with whom I have shared countless evenings of joy and laughter.

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why was 6 jealous of 7? 7 had a huge dick.

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I'm on a seafood diet. It consists of prawns and tuna.

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How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

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What is black and likely to fail? A chain smokers lungs.

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Why did the chicken go down the road? He was in a KFC truck and was headed to his death...

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

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Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

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whats worse than a worm in your apple..? getting shot..

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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why doesnt jesus play hockey? he got nailed to the boards

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

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What's the difference between Jew and a bread? Bread does not scream when you put him in oven.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I kinda have a bad memory What are we doing again?

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What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops