Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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stephen hawking walks into a bar, and those who recognize him are shocked that he's no longer in his wheelchair, and approach him to let him know this, but it turns out they were wrong, it was just a man with similar facial features to stephen hawking.

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What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road A. Because he needed to get to the other side

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Robert Mugabe.

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Robert. Robert who? Robert Anderson.

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what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

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What's sad about three black men in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? They were my friends.

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whats worse than someone blowing out all your birthday candles? a piano dropping on your head.

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what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

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have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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Wanna hear a funny anti joke?...........................................................................................Funny anti joke

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Who is a pussy? Jeff Misner

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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