How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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Why do black people have white hands? Palms and soles are not in direct sunlight, and therefore less amounts of melanin are produced in those regions.

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

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How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

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A baby walks into a bar, not long before it leaves out of the bar.

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What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

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what did the surfer do on his computer? browse the internet

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Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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Girl fight: Teachers take them to dq Boy fight: Lunch and recess in the library.

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Roses are red My balls are blue Get off Unless You want too

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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Roses are red violets are blue, I have no pickup line, just Get your tits out

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple...... some of these jokes

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Know knock Who's there The fat lady off her medicine ball Call 000

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? Spray paint it blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun

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Hellen keller

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Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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