What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.

Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

What happened when the Asain woman got in her car? A speeding drunk driver hit her and now she is paralyzed from the neck down.. Its a tragic story

how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

were at work systems r down

What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

whats the king of the forest, is the color brown and is red all over? A deer or someone's soon to be dinner.

A man walks into a bar... OW!!!

What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was no traffic for miles and the chicken was in search of basic needs.

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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