an irishman gets on facebook...he has 7 friend request

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out all the W&Ws

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why did the chicken cross the road? because it felt like it!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Roses are red lemons are sour open Your legs and gimme an hour!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

thumb_up thumb_down -28

how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

thumb_up thumb_down -28

hey bruno ta quoi ds ta boite a lunch aujourdhui? DU SABLE CRISS DE POVRE!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why was the little boy brutally murdered? there was a serial killer in his town.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why was the little boy happy? Because he wasn't in the penn state locker room.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did my uncle get for Christmas? Me... MagicMonkey

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's better than getting second place in the paralympics? Having legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops