So a baby seal walks into a club

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Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

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If you are riding uphill in a canoe and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to fit in the dog house? None. Ice cream has no bones.

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Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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I was on Facebook today. Opened someones wall. Read "LIKE if you know someone that needs to be smacked in the face with a shovel." So I liked it and wrote my exboyfriend's name.......

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A chicken crosses the road... Gets fined for jaywalking.

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Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

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What's ripe and orange? A ripe orange.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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Roses are red violets are blue I fucked your mom now im about to fuck you to.

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What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible because orange's can't talk. Oh. It's Jim, I need to borrow your lawnmower.

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What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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why did the person die? He was 90 years old and was sick. Its natural

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. It's an average bar. However these men don't drink. The priest ordered some onion rings, the minister fries and the rabbi poutine. They're good friends despite their different religious views.

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What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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Why did the genie not grant the man his 3 wishes? Genies don't exist, only vampires live in lamps.

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what did the ghost say to the bee boo-bee

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops