What really killed the dinosaurs? ME!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the caveman say to the dinosaurs, nothing dinosaurs are from the Triassic period 25 million years ago, while the origin of man came around 230000 years ago, so there would be a massive time difference and and would never seen each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why wasn't the baby playing with his blocks? A: Because his face was stapled to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the Jewish man bend down to pick up a penny? Because he had dropped it and required the penny as part of his payment for his food.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the black guy cross the street? Because his master ordered him to

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock! Who's there? The Police The Police who? We're sorry Ma'am your son has died in a car accident... --------- Knock Knock! Who's there? Not your son

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you get a horse to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

thumb_up thumb_down -22

You are joking right?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you do if a black man steals your flatscreen TV? Give up, he's probably in Mexico by now.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Jake did Why did Isaac cross the road? Because mum told him not to Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Maya was there

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops