Why did Dave stop going to the laundromat? Because he was a suicide bomber.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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Why did the boy die of Cancer? Because I took some radioactive chemicals and hen I feel like it I beat him with it.

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Nuclear Bombs are bad. But erections are good.......as long as they are stroked

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What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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knock knock who's there Bob oh hi, come in

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a blind person walks into a deaf person and the deaf person says "dadadader"

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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What did the T-REX say to the Yettie? This is a highly improbable situation, therefore there is no need for an answer.

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What has 4 eyes and cant see? Mississippi

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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Why did the girl fall off the swing ? Because she lost her balance and the force of gravity put upon her was too great for her to bear, resulting in her fall.

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How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops