how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Chris Hanson with To Catch A Predator.

Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

What's white and red all over? A baby in a blender

What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

What did Tarzan say when he say an elephant coming over a hill? Hey look, there's an elephant coming over a hill!

A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

Lets see how many dislikes this can get.

Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

whats blue and fluffy ? Blue fluff

French people.

does your face hurt? yeah, neither does mine.

Why do blacks have a little white on their hands? God has always said that everybody has a little good in them.

What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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