Your mom is not fat!

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what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

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The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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What's long and black? A black hockey stick.

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You know how hitler wasn't accepted into the art school ? The teacher who didn't let him join was Jewish .

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What's more painful than having your girlfriend cheat on you and leave you? Having your **** bitten off slowly.

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

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The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris now has $10.

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Is your Alzheimers getting better? I have alzeimers?...

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Why did the man eat his wife? He was a cannibal

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Where was the black child's dad? At work. He'll be back around 6:30

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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Whats the difference between a Dodo and an Elephant? They're both extinct. Excluding the elephant

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How do you tell if an albino baby is black? Check his genetics.

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Women's rights.

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What do you call Americans Watching Canadians? Hockey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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