Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

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what meows and is fuzzy and smells like manure? a cat being being killed with a chainsaw next to a cow

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A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

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Daniel G. Likes to perve on the boys in the locker room. Change quick guys!

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What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

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Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

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What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

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What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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