What's yellow and talks? A talking giraffe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

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lil billy wuz killed cuz of hiz relijuz beliefz

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what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

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What do you call a man who shoots someone? A very bad person.

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what did one computer say to the other .........

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Conner Schmidt's fiance has the fattest ass in the world <3

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Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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What did the framer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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I would very much love to meet you again Erron, call me sometime I do not care how you get my number.

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If the Trojan Horse was a deadly deception, is it My Lethal Phony?

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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Guess what day it is!!! Sunday? Monday? Tuesday? Wednesday? Thursday? Friday? Saturday? IT'S HUMPDAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q: Whats funny about the Holocaust A: Nothing

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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