Why did the man smell like french toast? His wife previously made him a plate of it that he ate before walking out of the house.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had Alzheimers and forgot that he lived on the other side of the street.

What is the name of the car? What

When life throws knives at you, run away.

A man said hello to a woman. He was italian...

You know you guys are suppose to post jokes, not basketball comments.

An African American and an hispanic man are in a car, who's driving? No one, they are having sex

What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

Do you smell that? Sex and candy?

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

If a tree falls in the forrest and a women hears it does it make a sound? Why is there a tree in the kitchen.

roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

Where is Tampa Bay, Florida?

Why couldn't the Asian man speak in chinese? He never learned chinese

A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

What happens when you run out of butter You ask antonio

two people are falling out of a plane, a blond and a brunnete who hit the ground first. the blond, the brunnete brought a parachute

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! Now you must listen to all of my demands or I will crush you all.

I know there are, its not the illuminati, its not reptilian shapeshifters, nor Gods politicians nor the human condition. Its society today as it stands, they did not have the right to attack us, but if we had surpassed them, they would have lost all power, they are the relics of the past, and no matter how many of them stand, they do not grow, and what does not grow, stagnates until it finally dies. Lose hope in people most all you want, but not in the few that truly believe in you for all the good reasons in the world, perhaps we are idealists, or maybe we know that with you by our side, what we see as ideals, is something you can make come true.

There's a white guy and a black guy, on a bridge. Of corse the idiot white guy jumps off. But the black guy yells, I NEVER LIKED U!!!!! Later that day the police showed up and asked wat happened. The black guy said, U GOT NO EVIDENCE!!! The police say true and walk away. Then go to Dunkin Donuts and get a triple chocolate donnut and coffee. They lived happily ever after. Except for the white guy. :)

Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

Today, I was thirsty so I got in my kitchen and took a bottle of juice out of my refrigirator, I realised the bottle was empty, so I immediatly took a walk to the store and bought another bottle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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