Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

Joker: Knock knock Batman: Who's there Joker: Not your parents

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

What do you call a man floating in a pool with his arms chopped off? A murder victim.

Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother.

How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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