Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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stephen hawking walks into a bar, and those who recognize him are shocked that he's no longer in his wheelchair, and approach him to let him know this, but it turns out they were wrong, it was just a man with similar facial features to stephen hawking.

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2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road A. Because he needed to get to the other side

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What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

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What's sad about three black men in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? They were my friends.

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whats worse than someone blowing out all your birthday candles? a piano dropping on your head.

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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Who is a pussy? Jeff Misner

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How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Robert. Robert who? Robert Anderson.

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Wanna hear a funny anti joke?...........................................................................................Funny anti joke

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

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have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

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what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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I was watching this movie..... its over now.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

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What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

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If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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