Q: What's worse than both of your parents dying in a terrible car accident? A: Sitting in the back seat with your grandparents.

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

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Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling. All the other ducklings made fun of the ugly duckling for being so ugly, and the little duckling felt bad. "Why do I have to be such an ugly duckling?," he asked. However one day, the duckling grew up and became........well, an ugly duck. Turns out he was just an ugly duck. The end.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. They never got their answer, because god doesn't exist.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

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What is green and has wheels? A blue car.

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Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

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3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

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How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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What is more disappointed the Lake Disappointment? You

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Yo mama so ugly she's ridiculed daily and has frequent suicidal thoughts.

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Why is the chicken afraid of the tiger? Chickens are inferrior to tigers and could easily be eaten.

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What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

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Women's Rights

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How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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