what did the man say to the other man? hey

I haven't left my basement in 29 years

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

What happened when the Asain woman got in her car? A speeding drunk driver hit her and now she is paralyzed from the neck down.. Its a tragic story

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

Wanna hear a race joke?.....whoops, ya missed it

how many dead guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6

Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.

Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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