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How do you make a blonde woman act in a porno? You get her consent and pay her money.

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How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

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telling real jokes on anti-joke is a form of anti jokes

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What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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What did the T-REX say to the Yettie? This is a highly improbable situation, therefore there is no need for an answer.

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What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

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"I see!" said the blind man, as he picked up a saw and hammer.

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Q: Why did the girl fell from the swing? A: Because she had no arms.

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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If you are reading this you are a nerd

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If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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