A women frantically calls the doctor and says, " Doctor, doctor, give me the news! I have a bad case of loving you."

What would happen if you insulted Chuck Norris' mother? Considering you did it on a messageboard that only unemployed people with no social lives use, nothing.

What's the most popular fruit in the U.S.? Bananas What's the most popular vegetable in the U.S.? Stephen Hawking

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

What did the flag say to the pole? It dosnt

What do you call Batman and Robin after they have been run over by a car? Dead.

hashtags suck balls

What do you call an Arab guy flying a plane? A pilot.

There is a black man and a Mexican in a car. Who's driving? The driver.

Q. What's smarter then the smartest woman in the world? A. A retarded seal, or pretty much anything else.

Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

Robin, get in the car!

What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

Q:What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A: A bike

Your life

A Muslim walks into a Bar, He buys everyone a round of drinks and enjoys the rest of his night

man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

Why did the Catholic Priest get arrested? Tax-evasion.

What do you call a Mad Cow? Dead. Pst, Mr.Cobb if your reading this- Hola.

Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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