Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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A Cadillac Escalade ran off a cliff with 4 black man in it. What's wrong with this? The Cadillac could hold 6 people.

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What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man on the road? One's a dog and one is a man, but more importantly the differences shouldn't be noted in a miserable occasion such as this as both are unfortunate tragedies. Also, one has a big penis.

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What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

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What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The UPS guy dumb ass

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How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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69

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knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

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can you touch your toes? no

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guess what>? your mum lol

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

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why did the man throw his clock out of he window? he was mentally insane.

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What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Chuck Norris." "Chuck Norris who?" "NOBODY SAYS 'CHUCK NORRIS WHO'!!!"

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What's worse then finding 10 babies in 1 trashcan? Finding 1 baby in 10 trashcans.

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Buy a SHOTGUN!!!!

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The awkward when you didn't actually say moment.

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I baked a pie once. Guess what flavor it was. PIE FLAVOR!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops