teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Flawed genetics? I am just sad, but then again I am a crybaby, mind sharing a bit more with me? I mean you wont call me wont you? You are not keeping me a secret from anyone right?

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why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

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Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

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What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

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I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

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why did they make a new iphone? because individuals like to be connected to local and world wide media so they can stay in touch with all news, friends and family.

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What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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What do you call an Arabic man who crashed a plane into a business building? A careless pilot whose recklessness caused him to crash into a building. His stupidity and lack of plane control skill led to a horrible accident that involved the death of thousands of innocent people and the death of many business people's office pets.

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John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

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why did the asian wearing a sombrero buy orange juice at 2am? because hes trying to stay sober and do away with alcohol for good because its ruining his family and he wants to be a good father and husband.

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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A student exclaimed "This test is a piece of cake!" He ate it.

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops