a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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A black man walks in to a 7 Eleven with a gun in his left pocket. He innocently walks over to the place where they keep all the hostess treats, and decides to purchase a pack of crumb donuts. The gun was purely for self defense, it was a bad neighborhood.

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Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

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What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

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whats the difference between a white jew and a black jew the black jew is treated poorly and is sent to the back of the gas chamber

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

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what do u call an elephant in a car? nothing elephants cant fit in cars

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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What do u call a gay dinosaur? Dinosaurs don't exist

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What does bigfoot have? Big feet.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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