Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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What's something that really sucks? Having a homicidal cat on your chest.

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2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

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How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

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Their was three black men that walked into a bar. They then ordered three drinks and had sex... I lied about walking into a bar

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What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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lol i'm going to hell for laughing at this shit

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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What's the difference between a guy who sees the glass half empty and a guy who sees the glass half full? The first guy is happier because his tables tip more than the second guy's.

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Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

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How do you judge a black person? By the content of their character.

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What's worse then your pets death? I don't know I asked you.

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A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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Whats worse than the holocaust? WNBA

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

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So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

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What does the gay man do while he is taking a shower with many other men in a prison or a gym? Lathers soap all over his body to clean himself so he is not smelly.

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Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops