Q:Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable A:The Wheelchair

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Why is OK SUK WHANG's name on a gravestone? She thought she was way better than okay.

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Why was Timmy so unpopular at school? Because he caught aids of his pet rock

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

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Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

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Future last words Guess who edition: "This new prototype Ferrari XZ handles like a God even at full speed!...Well, if God had no brakes and his turning ability suddenly disappeared when going at over 300 kilometers per hour that is..." "Uh oh now! Another heart attack! Where is mah medical weed? SHAAAAAROOOOOOON!" "Please haters, lower your guns, I will stop singing! Beliebe me!" Moral: "OMG I AM ONLY THE SIXTH MOST USELESS THING NOW!" "MY BODY IS NOT READY! Urgh mah chest... CHAROOOOOOON!

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Dave then complied, opened the door and let the police search his house. He was then found innocent of drug related charges.

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Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

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How did the baby cross the ocean? It was stapled to a whale.

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A rapist and a little child walk through a dark forest. The little child says: "It's scary here." Rapist answers: "Tell me about, I gotta go back alone through here."

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the second and says, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" The second muffin replies, "Holy crap a talking muffin!"

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies shouldn't be changing light bulbs.

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Dumbledore dies.

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Why do woman cook dinner? Because their husband has 6 jobs and is trying to support his family so she does a part and cooks dinner.

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What do you get when you combine a baby and a chainsaw? 30 years to to life in prison.

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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What do you call a Mexican without any arms or legs? A bean.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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