Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because I shot him. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because his tail was stapled to the other monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I once saw my grandparents making love.. that's why I dont eat raisens

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many christians does it take to change a light bulb? No one knows, by the time they finish unscrewing the burned out light, a hi-jacked plane crashes into them.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

thumb_up thumb_down +2

my egg roll

thumb_up thumb_down +2

He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the man get a job at the daycare? Because he was a serial killer/rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I was on Facebook today. Opened someones wall. Read "LIKE if you know someone that needs to be smacked in the face with a shovel." So I liked it and wrote my exboyfriend's name.......

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Which disney princess always stays old? Snow White

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a man walks into a bar, what does he say answer: oww..

thumb_up thumb_down +2

2 gays monkeys walk into a bar.........

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is similar about a white person and a white fence? Mexicans jump them.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops