Why can't helen keller drive a car? Because she is a woman

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A frog walks into a bar and the bartender thinks he is very well evolved because frogs don't walk they hop

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The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

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Why did a little boy have a black eye? Because his father is very abusive to him and his sister. They are beaten every dad after the father comes home drunk from the bar because his wife also the kids mother died in a car acciedent 1 month before this. Child abuse is not funny and neither is a dead mother.

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Why was the blond stupid? She wasnt, its just that everyone loves stereotypes

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A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

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A guy watches a porno. When it is over, he said; "Wow, that was deep"

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What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

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Why did Alec cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by an axe.

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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What do you call a lubia chin jew slave? Kia

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What did the waitress do when the man asked for pizza? She ran away

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

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What did the cow say to the farmer who was driving by in a tractor? MOOOOOOOO!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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