Three gay men walk into a bar and there is only one three-legged stool. What do they do? --One man politely tells one of the other men to have a seat and then the two remaining men leave and have a one-night stand.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the very inquisitive poor black guy say to the very rich white man at the train station? Nothing, they didn't know each other. And they both had their iPods in. And they were at different train stations. And they were in different countries. And the black guy died 20 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I was watching two muffins baking in an oven. One said to the other, "Wow, it's hot in here." The other one said "Wow! A talking muffin!" I went to my psychiatrist the next day, to increase the dosage on my medication.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q:What's worst than reading a bad joke? A: Reading a joke on anti-joke and the person who posted the joke obviously doesn't get how a anti-joke works. For example... read this again ^^

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why dont you ever run over a black guy thats on a bike? because you will be sewed and also probably have the shit kicked out of you

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar,gets a drink, and then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do black people like watermelons so much? They don't. It's just a stereotype.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops