What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Actual jokes are now obsolete.

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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What do you call a guy with aids? Your dad

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-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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Lol, she does not think anything, she knows. Its not unfaithfulness if you ask for permission and are granted so because the trust is strong and mutual.

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Who is it?

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Why didn't Megan do her homework? Although Megan was an intelligent girl who had always done well academically, she remained unconvinced that anything taught in school held practical or philosophical importance.

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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What's long,black and wrapped in something yellow ?? A twix

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Why couldn't the 11-year old get into the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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What do you get when you put a goat and an owl together? A goat and an owl

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Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, but she had anal hemorrhaging so it really hurt

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How do we stop world hunger? We must first ask ourselves: why don't people eat?

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

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Why did the woman stop jogging? She got mauled by a bear.

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Man: You know you're crazy when you talk to inanimate objects, you know you're Insane when they reply. Stick: I know, right?

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lol

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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