You know what happens when there's an awkward silence... Everyone feels a little bit uncomfortable for a brief moment in time.

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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VITAMIN C!

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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What did the Japanese kid get for his birthday? Nothing, his gifts were washed away.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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Wheres my hood? Behind your neck.

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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What do gay kittens eat? Cat food. Friskies and Fancy Feast are both popular brands.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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What do humans and trees have in common? -If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they fal down

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

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A man walks into a bar,gets a drink, and then leaves.

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops