A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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Did you know that if you say "gullible" slowy, it still sounds like you're saying "gullible."

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy masterbating.

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A casual web surfer logs onto a website and reads half a joke.

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

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why cant dogs write letters? They do not have the dexterity to hold a pen, or even comprehend the basic language skills and grammatical layout of how to write a letter

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Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

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Q: Knock Knock!?! A: Lettem' in!!!!

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

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Why are some people so emotional? Because some their family were hit by a train and then died the next day of lung cancer.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What does greg and Ian have in common?

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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Neither did she.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

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Ben Corbishley

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Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

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Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

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How many dead kids can you fit into a plastic bag in your trunk? Ask Kasey Anthony

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops