How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

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Ben Corbishley

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Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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What does greg and Ian have in common?

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what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

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Neither did she.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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What's the capital of Hungary? Thirtsy

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

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Why did Sally ask for ketchup? She wanted to use it on her french fries.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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