What did the man with no head say to the women?

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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If you can't see what I see... You must be blind. If you can see what I see... Well I can't be blind because I have been able to see all my life!

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i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Knock Knock!! . . (There is no response as nobody's home)

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

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Women's rights.

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How do you catch a predator? You throw a beartrap at a child.

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some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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Why did Sam have no friends? He was dead.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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Yo momma's so fat, that she got baptised in Sea World.

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727-8088-954 Call Me. Say your name is Nick whether or not your a guy or a girl.

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Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Since when is it any of your business? Cant we live in a world where chickens can cross the road freely without having there motives questioned?

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A White and a Chinese got in a fight, who won? None. The fight was unable to begin because a color is not a living organism.

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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How do you put elephant in refrigerator? Open the door, and put the elephant in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops