Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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What is worse-losing your phone or failing school? Apartheid

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? Twister

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How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

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Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

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Why did the priest go to jail? He had sexual relations with young boys.

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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What does a jew to enter in a movie theater? He buys a ticket!

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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What did the man say to the orphan? No one loves you, you have no friends.

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How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

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If John had 4 apples and gave 2 to Mary, what is the circumference of the sun?

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What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A cripple.

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What do you call 20 Investment Bankers buried to their necks in sand? A team building exercise at the beach sponsored by an Investment Bank.

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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Why was the Mexican running through the desert? A group of bandits had kidnapped his family, raped his sister, drowned his mother, decapitated his father, and now they were coming for him. They are coming...

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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