A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the boy die? He got shot in the face repeatedly.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

jack and jill went up the hill to have a little fun. that dumb ass jill forgot the pill and now they have a son

thumb_up thumb_down -2

WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a cat that plays football? Weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

are you from Tennessee, cause i wanna rip out your throat you piece of dirt

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the person get hit by a fridge? They didn't for its physically impossible for most people to throw a normal sized refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

david what a baghead

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You know you're drunk when you've spend a significant amount of time consuming alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the chicken cross the road? it accidentally got out of it's pen. the farmer got very mad at the chicken for getting out, and very vicous-like, yelled at the chicken, causing it to get scared, and run to the other side. and that, is why the chicken crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops