A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What happens when a right turn is finally made in NASCAR? The driver has successfully changed his tires and has been refueled, now he is pulling out of pit lane.

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How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold climate. I guess this was just a waste of time.

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A black guy, a Latino guy and an Asian guy all walk in a bar. What do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, the chicken is dead.

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Why is Diarreah genetic? It runs in your genes.

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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Why did the imagrint cross the road? Cuz he stole the chickin's job.

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I love you! Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Squirrels are rabbid Yes mi this is a haiku!!!! I know ur reading this so grape grape grape

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Why is a blonde girl crying in the bathroom? Because she has been bullied and someone broke her nose.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

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Sometimes I sit in the bath and pretend im a bubble

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How ma......

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what do you tell a black man getting hit by a police baton? that is racial inequality, and you no longer have to take that due to Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

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Q: What has eyes but can't see, has arms but no hands and legs but no feet A: a blind man with his hands and feet amputated with cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because of excess velocity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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