A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why bouriquet laugh ? cause hes mom get hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

DAVID.B YOU O ES 2 BAR YA TRAMP

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the blonde fall down the stairs? Somebody tripped her.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the homeless man get for christmas hyperthermia

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Does that doctor take insurance? No, the receptionist takes the insurance, the doctor takes your blood... Well actually, the nurse does that.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't the convicted felonist get back to America? He was in Antarctica and accidentally licked a flagpole.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

among liedbtt is my Captcha code

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why do homeless people smell bad? A: Because they live on the street and they dont take showers it's very sad sometimes.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops