what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

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roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

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What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

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Q:What happens when a bug walks into a bar A:It gets stepped on

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Lucy laughed at the joke. Then realised she had gangrene.

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What is worse than the holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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two muffins are sitting in an oven one muffin turns and says "boy it`s hot in here" the other muffin can`t bring himself to explain to the other they are about to be eaten alive.

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why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

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Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

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friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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what do asians do in asian history month, nothing, it does not exist, hahaha

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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