Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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how do yopu punish helen keller? Ground her, just like you would with any other child.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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What do you call a growing family of micro-organisms? Cancer

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Theres an app for the iPhone.

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you are my slave, get back to work!

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What's big, old, and brown? A tree.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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A man walks into himself. He is revealed.

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So I says to the guy "take the money and run." He then takes my money and walks down the street.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

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Twinkle twinke little star How I wonder what you are? Star: (Noun) A fixed luminous point in the night sky that is a large, remote incandescent body like the sun.

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Y couldn't you stop the bowling ball? Because it was going down a hill.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a worm on the other side. And the more pressing question is why do i watch a chicken in my free time

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Whats brown and sticky? Poop on a warm summers night.

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whats the difference between a boyscout and a jew? boyscouts come home from camp

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I don't want to hear another joke about female hygiene, PERIOD! -Lets go Mets

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what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

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Immigration Laws

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops