Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a little kid goes as candle for halloween, 69 girls blew him teenage boy goes as candle for halloween, all he got was burned

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats worse than finding a worm in your penis having your wife bite of your penis and die from an infecction

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the man so fat? Because he is in a wheel chair and can't exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the black guy say to the Jewish guy when it began to rain? It's raining.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

One day a there was a guy walking down the street. If you thought this was a joke, you're wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I would piss if alex berry had aids n died

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops