What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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A man walks into a bar. -Can I ask where am I? - he sais -Yes, you can. - sais the barman Awkward silence occurs. -Why aren't you asking? I said you can.

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Why did Suzie fall out of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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Whats worst than getting bombed by the russians? The holocaust!

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How did the teenage mother get her baby to stop crying? Multiple stab wounds to its throat

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

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Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: the WNBA

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black chicken. kfc

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What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

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A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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What does a kid with no arms and legs get for christman.... Cancer...

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Why did Little Suzy get hit by a truck? Well the real question is, "Why was Little Suzy in the road," so why was she? Because she felt like it.

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Knock knock who's there? Boo. Boo who? Uh, Boo Johnson, your next door neighbor. Forget it I'll come another day.

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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