Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

There is a tree. its still there. your still reading this, i dont know why, ok im getting sick of writing something that isnt even funny

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

What is green and has wheels???? Yo mamma on a Wednesday.

Never mail in your wished to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

why did the kitten not eat its food? because its face was stapled to the floor.

A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Beacause the destination he was trying to reach was across this road Notice how he tried This is because he got hit by a car but know one cares for him

There is no I in team... But there is a u in suck. There is no I in team, but there is in awesome

So a guy and his monkey walk into a bar I don't remember the rest of the joke but you mom is a whore

What's red, white, and blue? light purple

whats worse than finding 10 dead baby's in 1 garbage can... finding 1 dead baby's in 10 garbage can

Bob: Say this word that I spell out. Jane: Ok Bob: N.I.N.A. Jane: Um...Nina? Bob: Correct. Now try N.I.N.O. Jane: Nino like el nino Bob: Good. How about N.I.N.E. Jane: Ninny? Bob: Hahaha wrong

How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

Do you know why this joke isn't funny. It's punchline is bad.

Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

What's worse than finding an apple in your worm... I mean, a worm in your apple ? "Then I took an arrow to the knee" jokes.

A man sits down to dinner with his wife And she notifies him that their 8 year old son just died

I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

Q. Why did the teacher trip and fall? A. Because his left foot was gnawed off by a camel, and he often finds it difficult to walk.

tomatoe tomato my toe is named tom

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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