What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

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What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

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I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

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Why couldnt the pirate get into the movies? Because it was rated pg-13 and his parents didnr likw him watching that

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A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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what is the difference beyween football and baseball the superbowl and world series

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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what do hookers and bungee jumping have in common? They are both 100$ to be in/on and if the rubber breaks your screwed

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Why did the girl fall from the tree? Gravity.

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A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

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Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

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Bob Saget that is all

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? Twister

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a gay man got shot outside his house even though he was just checking the male get it checking the male

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What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

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10 years later...... a baby is born in Japan and has 26 toes due to radiation

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Julian Ha.

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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Kameron Brown is gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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