Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

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person 1: i have a good knock knock joke person 2: ok what is it? person 1: say knock knock! person 2: knock knock person 1: trollollollollollollo

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Knock, knock. After a couple minutes of waiting the man knows that no one is home and leaves.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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Once there was a girl named Andrea

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Why was the man running? He needed to get somewhere fast.

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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If a hen lays an egg in the middle of a roof, which way would it fall? To the east, as there was a brisk wind in that direction.

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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Why did the boy cross the street He didnt he got hit by a plane instead

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Nerve endings. Now, lets say we make that sensation of a finger down there vibrate, as your nose (not not your lower parts no no) become twenty times as sensitive, now you are just rubbing your nose right? Try not rubbing it completely off now...

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A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

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An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

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What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

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cory

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Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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Two People go To Africa They have a lovely time they come home then go to Miami Florida after Florida they decide to go to germany sadly there was a plane crash and the two men fell into a pit of acid.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What did Little Johny get for Christmas?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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