A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling. All the other ducklings made fun of the ugly duckling for being so ugly, and the little duckling felt bad. "Why do I have to be such an ugly duckling?," he asked. However one day, the duckling grew up and became........well, an ugly duck. Turns out he was just an ugly duck. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whenever you come out of emma browns bedroom

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the worst part of being a black Jew? That is a very uncommon combination of race and religion, therefore causing obvious confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your momma is so black, that her melanin levels are relatively high.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the dog say to the astro turf? SHUT UP!! I don't want to here your excuses, put the dishes away when you're done with them or so help me! You see the dog had been abused as a puppy and as a result he was always a bit off.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A jew enters a mall.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops