what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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three lesbians on a plane they were all responsible and had sex when they got home and not on the plane

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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What's red and smells like green paint? Red Paint

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Wait a moment, I will see what I can do.

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Kevin and Ramin

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because seven is black

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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Why did the black guy buy a jug of grape soda Because he was thirsty

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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A lot eh?

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops