what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

How tall is oprah.. 5'7

I used to know what alzheimers was

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

What happened while Thomas crossed the street? He got hit by a truck. What happened to Billy? He was Thomas's Siamese twin, and he too met the same fate.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His mother was a prostitute.

Poop

what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing?

What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

why didn't the mexiczn eat the black man's cooking? because it wasn't good

Yo momma's so fat she weighs more than the average woman of her age and height

Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

why wasn't the boy at his moms funeral? He killed his mom.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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