Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

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Cinema greatest shit final, anime and videogames dont translate well into movies edition: One day... a young man named Tyler Reed, is chased by the notorious bully named Peter Ganondorf... Just then... he coincidentally utters "I AM THE LINK!" And a great lightning bolt strikes him... Tyler Becomes THE LINK! As for Peter Ganondorf... he became a pile of burning ashes... But Just then THE LINK, gets contacted by Jessica Fairy! And receives a important message... The evil Dr.Bullshitious has destroyed the connection without earth and planet Zelda! And that is bad... BECAUSE! Can Tyler Reed use his powers of lightning fast flight, and collect the TWO pieces of the mystic "triforce" to earn the ultimate weapon? The Master gun! Most importantly, can he become THE LINK between Planet Zelda and Earth? *Shows random shots that you cant make shit of like those movies you know suck just from the narration* ZELDA: THE LINK TO PLANET EVOLUTION! Moral: Still better than Dragon Ball Evolution...

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Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer...and the other is a watermelon.

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What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

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Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

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Remember when the new jokes on this sight actually used to be funny?

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A black guy, a Latino guy and an Asian guy all walk in a bar. What do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put my dick in your ass

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An Englishman, an American and a Frenchman are standing on the side of a cliff. The Englishman jumps off the cliff. The American also jumps off the cliff. He is followed by the Frenchman. Suicide and depression are major problems in today's world regardless of nationality.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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what is sadder than lost in a ps4 game ? Your mom's funeral, she died in a horrible accident yesterday

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't. It's dead.

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To mama so old, she might die soon.

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Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

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25

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What's worse then getting kicked in the face by Chuck Norris? A: Nothing

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Guess what? Random shit. Why? Because almost nobody looks at the newest jokes to realize that 99.999% of jokes that just say random shit never get above the 0 mark.

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Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

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When life gives you lemons, sell them. Rejoice in your free money.

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Why did the Japanese piliot crash into the ship? Because he has motion sickness and puked all over the wind shield making it so he can't see.

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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Women are only good for seventy-one things: Love A proper home to come home to everyday 69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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