Q: What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not struggling with a debilitating mental or physical handicap.

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Why was the man running? He needed to get somewhere fast.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What could be worse than a giant paint bubble? The Holocaust.

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

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Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

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What has four wheels and flies? A pile of poop that's on four wheels.

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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How many Jews do you have to kill in order to make a museum? 6 Million.

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PENIS that is all

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

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What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops