Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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Knock knock, come in.

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so a baby seal walks into a club...

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?

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anti-joke teehee

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What do you call a half man half manatee? A manatee

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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Q:why did the girl fall off the swing set? A:she had no arms

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Why did the little girl cry A rabi slapped her and stole her ice cream

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

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Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

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Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

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In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

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Rebecca Black's new album.

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How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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