"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man... On the phone

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

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Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who broke his calculator? He went to the shops and bought some laxatives and a new calculator.

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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pretty soon we'll all be dead

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If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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What's the difference between a person and a cow? 2% of their DNA. The other 98% is virtually identical.

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A blonde fails an exam because she did not study

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse didn't respond, because it's a horse.

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What starts with S and end in H-I-T? shit.

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Why did Jessy crawl to her bed? Because she has no legs.

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Why was the Tyrannosaurus Rex such an aggressive animal? it had short arms so it could not masturbate.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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Roses are red Violets are FUCKING VIOLET NOT FUCKING BLUE

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knock knock who's there your moms dead im sorry

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Women are only good for seventy-one things: Love A proper home to come home to everyday 69

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A plumber walks into a bar and the bartender says "What will it be?" and the plumber says "no drinks thank you, I'm here to fix the toilet."

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What did the one Lame say to the other Lame? I don't know, what did you say?

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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