What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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What's the worst part of being a black Jew? That is a very uncommon combination of race and religion, therefore causing obvious confusion.

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A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling. All the other ducklings made fun of the ugly duckling for being so ugly, and the little duckling felt bad. "Why do I have to be such an ugly duckling?," he asked. However one day, the duckling grew up and became........well, an ugly duck. Turns out he was just an ugly duck. The end.

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Geeks have girlfriends...................... . . . I MEAN alien friends (geeks are losers and you decide your a geek or not)

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whenever you come out of emma browns bedroom

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What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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Yo mamma is so fat that she is likely to consume large amounts of food regularly.

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Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

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Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

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Women's rights

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Q: How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop? A: At least one.

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A: "How much rope does it take to hang a baby?" B: "I don't know, how much?" A: "The guy at Home Depot didn't know either."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops